The Monastic Family by Father Paul Scalia
What is a "monastic" family? What does family life have in common with monastic life? Why is the monastery a good model for a lay household? Father Paul Scalia, in his lecture, "The Monastic Family," addresses these important, foundational questions.
Father begins by explaining, "The Church puts forth to the world two forms of family: the domestic and the religious." Though the religious family and the domestic family have distinguishing aspects and specific qualities, there are many characteristics, both practical and spiritual, that they have in common. While these various common qualities do not "mean that every home will become a religious order," they do, however, provide a basis or framework for religious and domestic life, and thus indicate that the "principles that govern monastic life are the same principles that should govern domestic life."
What do the religious family and domestic family have in common? The main common element may be described with just one word: purpose. Father expounds the fundamental truth that Catholics of either family, religious or domestic, have the same purpose: they are "called to holiness." "Holiness is learned by example and cultivated by encouragement." Since holiness is "cultivated by encouragement," a monastic family must guard itself against the temptations and evils of the world. A monastery is "set apart," and its members' contact with the world is limited. For example, "Not everyone in the cloister is allowed to answer the phone." Father notes the divisive effects of open communication, stressing that it, "divides the heart of each member of the community," and will eventually divide "the community itself." Father concludes, "The cloister guards the integrity of the community."
Similarly, "certain restrictions" must be placed on a family's communication, Father suggests. The reason for this is because "what mom and dad teach" is contradicted by the world. Further, "Parents ought to control the thoughts within their houses." Father asks the obvious question: "Is this thought control," and responds, "Yes." Like an abbot or abbess of a monastery, Catholic parents must defend the integrity of their homes: "Thoughts that are not acceptable need to be kept out."
A monastery's daily life is clearly articulated in its horarium. A horarium is a list or schedule of daily activities. Father explains the importance and positive impact of the horarium, commenting, "There is nothing so freeing as a clear purpose." Therefore, the domestic family "ought to have an horarium," Father asserts. Though, "it does not have to be as tight as a monastery's," the structure of the horarium is central to a Catholic household. "The lack of a schedule does not indicate spontaneity," but, instead, it reveals, "the lack of a clear purpose."
Addressing the "rhythm of daily life," Father notes the importance of the liturgy. The Holy Mass, for instance, should not be viewed as an isolated event or as being independent of the life of the family. Father points out, "The liturgy is more than just a thing the religious do in their day. It guides them in everything they do," and "determines the rhythm of their daily life." Thus, the domestic family "ought to breathe with the Church's liturgical year." "Knowing what feast day it is and celebrating that feast in the home" is a way in which Catholic parents "bring the liturgy back home" and "weave it into daily life."
Father discusses the various roles within the domestic family. Reflecting upon monastic roles and duties, some of the greatest saints "spent their lives doing simple and mundane tasks." While there were many saints who held high positions in the Church or were great theologians or teachers, there are a host of others who were porters, who tended the garden, or maintained the monastery premises. Likewise, "everyone in the family has a responsibility in the household." The family equivalent of the various monastic duties is called chores.
Additionally, parents must remember, "The purpose of the chore is not just to get the work done." The true purpose of chores is to "incorporate everyone in the family in the work of the household." Family members unite with one another through the attributes, difficulties, and challenges of household duties and responsibilities.
Related to the proper and Catholic conception of duties and chores is the proper and Catholic conception of work and money. Father notes, "Work, ultimately, is not just for money." Those who have a Catholic perspective of work, money, and consumption understand that the money one earns and the resources of our world are not ends unto themselves, but are blessings from God that are to be oriented toward the good of the family, the community, and the Church.
Catholic parents must then instill in their children a thoroughly Catholic understanding of work and its effects. "The value of work must first be learned at home," Father remarks. Again, Father notes the associated worldly obstacles: "Contrary to what the world thinks, home is the real world." While secular society champions the "world outside the home" as the "real world," faithful Catholic parents create homes that are clearly Catholic and truly nurturing—homes that are a real world of Catholic charity and virtue.
Father Scalia concludes by discussing the necessity of recreation. "If our culture has a flawed understanding about work, it also has a flawed understanding of recreation." The purpose of work is not directed toward hoarding money for elaborate, individualistic vacation activities. Worldly people "neither work nor recreate in a healthy way." Our recreation time is not a time to "get away from each other," a time where "we all do our own thing."
Recreational periods should offer time for rest, prayer, and reflection. Family members should be happy to spend time with each other. "Our Lord did not command us to tolerate one another, He commanded us to love one another." In their conception of recreation, and in many other things, faithful Catholics "look ridiculous in the eyes of the world." This perception would be reversed if society would "accept Christ as King."
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